But She's A Guy
by FranklyMyDear89
Summary: Yer ruttin' pants are what's offendin' Doc. Now take 'em off or I'll cut 'em off." Frank felt the color drain from her face, much the way she was sure it had drained from Simon's. "I'd rather die," he choked out. M for a reason. COMPLETE! Finally, I know.
1. Shut Up

**To my potential readers**: A warning of sorts, as well as an explanation. For the two of you out there that have read my previous works, you should know that I always use an OC. For those of you that don't know that, well, now you do. And I do this on purpose, not to screw with the characters I'm borrowing, or to make Mary-Sues that make you want to gag, but to practice creating and developing characters in a controlled environment. This story isn't dissimilar, but has one major difference, as the OC in this story is the conglomeration of all my OC's, with variations. In a way, this is the ultimate crossover as well, since my character has lived in quite a few other works, i.e. Harry Potter, Gundam Wing, and a few of my original worlds as well, all of which will be alluded to in further chapters. Not that you really need it for this plot line, or particularly care. As with a few of my other pieces, this is posted purely for the all-powerful Ro-chan, who has been begging to see the work I haven't been keen on posting.

That said, welcome to the dark recesses of my twisted imagination. Please enjoy your stay.

**But She's A Guy**

**Chapter one ~ Shut Up**

Frank hummed a tune under her breath as she made her way through the cargo bay to the showers. It had been a couple days since her last, and after the latest job, she figured she deserved a long one. After all, it wasn't everyday a gal, who everyone thought was a guy, single-handedly saved the day and earned herself a 2% bonus on her cut. It was probably also the last time she'd hear the captain insist she and Jayne leave the grenades at home. So she'd take a couple more minutes under the hot water today. It was, after all, one of the few times she allowed herself to truly feel like a girl, especially since times like these led to very distracting thoughts on her partner in crime that made remaining professional a little more than difficult around the old merc.

It was still odd, thinking of herself as a girl while wearing a male glamour during the majority of her waking hours, but at least Doc Tam and his sister knew her real gender, so she tried not to mind the strangeness. She'd had practice enough the last six months on the starship _Serenity_ that it was nearly second nature, pretending to be a man around the crew. Even talking like a man wasn't hard anymore, especially since she didn't need to alter her voice all that much, naturally low for a woman as it was. Some days she entertained the idea of dropping the glamour, coming clean and admitting that she'd tricked them with her magic, but then she'd remember the last crew she'd signed on with and how long it had taken their mercs to force her up against a wall when no one was looking. It was a desperate measure, but a necessary one, to make people see her skills instead of her bust size. Maybe when she knew she had Jayne and the captain under control she could risk it. Even then, she'd have to make sure they were planet-side so she could make a quick getaway if it didn't go over well that she was not only a girl, but a witch as well.

Frank slowed in disappointment when she recognized the sound of the one working shower already in use. Never one for virtues, patience was something she never seemed to have enough of, and waiting in line for hot water was not on her list of things she loved to do. She was about to round the corner when she heard a shuffling sound and someone talking. Not caring to witness someone running out to the bench or their locker to get forgotten shampoo or whatnot, she hesitated, waiting for the sound of a curtain being slid closed to signal when the coast was clear.

There was another shuffle and a clang, as though a large amount of flesh had met a large amount of metal, and Frank frowned. Had someone tripped? There was a grunt, and then a rough voice raised above the sound of the water. "Shut up and I might'n take you raw," it commanded. Frank froze. That was Jayne.

"Please," she heard Simon's muffled begging. From the way it echoed slightly, she guessed his face was pressed against one of the lockers. "If I've somehow offended you, I apologize, just don't do this," he whined. Any thought that Frank might have been entertaining about this not being a rape fled her mind. There was no way in any universe that Simon would willingly bed Jayne, knowledge of her feelings for the merc aside.

Heavy breathing floated in the air for a moment before Jayne's gruff voice drowned it out. "Yer ruttin' pants are what's offendin' Doc. Now take 'em off or I'll cut 'em off."

Frank felt the color drain from her face, much the way she was sure it had drained from Simon's. "I'd rather die," he choked out.

The shrug that followed was practically audible. "Cuttin' it is."

"Please, Jayne," Simon tried again, although his pleading didn't mask the sound of tearing fabric. "I'll – I'll give you my cut, I'll pay you everything I have – "

"Ain't money I'm lookin' fer right now, and ya gotta pay for what'cha seen."

There was a clatter of steel on steel and Frank knew the man had discarded his knife. Ignoring the rapid beating of her heart, she silently put down her shower supplies and turned the corner, bringing the horrific scene finally into view. Sure enough, Simon was being pressed into a locker door, the remnants of his wet clothing in shreds around his ankles. Jayne, also naked, had a hand between the doctor's shoulder blades, the other pinning Simon's hands above his head. Both were soaking wet and by the amount of water on the floor, there had been quite a tussle that led up to their current position. Panic and fury seemed to be running at her in waves as she inched forward. "I told you, I didn't see – Ah!"

Frank froze again at the cry of pain, afraid that her tiny gasp would have been enough to gain the man's attention, and if there was a dive for the knife, now lying on the floor just behind the big merc, she wasn't going to get at it in time from where she was. "And that's just a finger," Jayne said viciously, making her blood curdle, but it confirmed that he was still unaware of her presence. "So if'n ya wanna walk after this, shut the rut up."

Jayne yanked his finger out, causing Simon to cry out again, and popped open the lotion bottle she recognized from Simon's personal shelf in the infirmary. She almost growled, not knowing why it pissed her off so bad that it would be Simon's lotion he used for such a purpose. "Please…!" the doctor moaned lowly as Jayne lined himself up for the first awful thrust.

Jayne put his soiled hand to Simon's mouth so as to muffle the shriek, and it took everything in Frank not to jump on the man and start beating him to death. Her secret love for him aside, what he was doing was inexcusable. She focused on the knife instead of the series of cries that signified the start of a rapid rhythm, and once she obtained it, she took a few steps back, ensuring that she was out of arm's reach when she made her presence known. "Somehow," she said loudly, as she pocketed the weapon, making both men jump violently, "I don't think the locker room is the place for that."

Simon was whimpering on the ground faster than she would have thought possible as she sauntered past them, feigning an almost graceful, male nonchalance and ignoring the look of horror on Jayne's face. Figured that he'd only be disgusted with his behavior now that he'd been caught. She reached down to the pile of sundries that were obviously the doctor's and took out his towel. "It ain't what it looks like," Jayne stated fearfully. It was strange to catch such an emotion in his voice, and it made Frank feel more in control. More of the man she needed to be in this moment.

"Well it looked like your dick shoved up another man's ass, so if you're trying to say you're not sly, I'm not buying," she said calmly as she shook the towel from its folded state.

Jayne took a step away from Simon, who had yet to move from his place crumpled on the ground, and immediately went on the defensive. "It's his own ruttin' fault, I was just makin' him pay fer – "

Her anger flared and she leveled him with a withering glare. "Oh, I see," she interrupted sarcastically, "Because you're _raping_ him, you're still straight. Only consensual partners make you gay. I was always confused about that one." She stepped forward and started to rub some of the water from Simon's back, and the shock from his muscles.

"I'm tellin' ya, I ain't – "

Glaring up at him again, she decided that an increase in volume would help get him into the going away motion that she needed him to be in. "Go back to your bunk, jerk yourself off, and keep telling yourself that." It didn't help that she was furious that the man she'd been so unexplainably attracted to the last few months not only was the one she'd caught raping her closest friend, but the one she'd caught raping her very _male_ friend. She would go and fall for a gay man after three hundred years of being virtually alone.

"Yer –"

Remember how patience was not one of her strong suits? Frank quickly drew the knife she had picked up from the floor and brandished it in the direction of his sac. "And don't mistake that for a request, because unlike you, I'm still armed, and decidedly _not_ the one caught with my pants down," she said bitterly. The man had the decency to flush and grab his things before shoving his shorts on and stalking from the locker room. Once she was sure he was gone, she turned her attention back to her friend, wrapping the towel as best she could around his nakedness. "Come on, Doc," she coaxed. "Can you walk?" Finally, he gave her a slight nod and tried to get himself upright. "Alright, there you go." She slung his arm over her shoulder and hefted most of his weight when he winced. From what she could see, he wasn't bleeding, so he'd more than likely heal up physically by the end of the day. Psychologically… they'd have to wait and see how long that one would take.

They had just about made it up to the infirmary when Kaylee and River came clamoring down the steps in front of them. River was obviously more distressed than Kaylee was, telling Frank that she'd already put two and two together and this wasn't a game. Frank nodded, her usual symbol to River that yes, she was right in her Reading, but also that it would be alright. Kaylee, on the other hand, had just noticed that the man she loved was wearing nothing but a towel and looking awful. "Simon?" she asked in a near panic. "What happened?"

Frank knew she had to work fast, or Kaylee would insist on assisting, and that was one embarrassment the doc didn't need this morning. "Seems he slipped in the shower, hit his head pretty bad," she answered blandly, subtly maneuvering him away from her touch.

"Will he be alri – "

Frank ground her teeth. The mechanic wasn't giving up apparently. "Not now Kaylee."

She looked slightly affronted, but finally noticed the blush that was burning up the majority of Simon's visible body, and how he was desperately clutching at his towel. Kaylee took a quiet step back and Frank did her best to get him through the door. He put a hand on the doorframe, though, effectively stopping them. "Pants," he gasped out.

Frank nodded and started to swing them around. "Okay, Doc. Clothes first." She felt the eyes on their backs the whole way up to the passenger dorms, and was infinitely glad in that moment that Kaylee thought she was a man. Seeing a girl leading Simon back to his bunk to help him get into a less naked state would have been catastrophic to their easy friendship. She propped the doc against the wall as she slid open his door and allowed him to collapse onto the bed as soon as they were through. He nearly did hit his head in his haste to not be standing. "Careful," she admonished belatedly as she shut and locked the door.

Simon rolled over, not bothering with the towel that was now tangled beneath him and doing absolutely no good. He raised a hand to his eyes and rubbed at the moisture there. She was actually surprised that he wasn't sobbing. She had been a total wreck after her first rape. During it, too, now that she thought about it. Once again, Simon's quietness belied an inner strength that few appreciated or even saw. "Thanks," he said tiredly, bringing her back to the current situation.

Noting that he was indeed lying prone and naked in front of her, she quickly turned to his dresser and started rifling through the drawers, flinging things onto the bed as she found them. "Boxers, PJ pants. You want a shirt?" she asked, not looking back.

"I said thank you," he repeated, his voice a little stonger, forcing her to turn. She was surprised to see that he hadn't moved at all, not even to cover himself or look at her. He wasn't doing nearly as well as she had just thought he was.

"I've been there, Simon," she responded quietly, causing him to meet her eyes. "I'd have been just as bad as that hun dan if I hadn't done anything. So there's no need to thank me." Bringing a t-shirt with her, she sat on the edge of the bed. "Can you sit up?" Finally blushing now that she needed him to move, he did his best on his own but did not object when she helped pull him up. The pain was apparent on his face, and he obviously wasn't happy about putting this much pressure on his backside. "Arms over your head," she added, bunching up the shirt before lifting it up to slide it over him. Once it was on he leaned heavily against the wall, allowing it to hold most of his upper body weight and relieve the discomfort in his ass.

Frank took the boxers next and knelt down to hook them around his feet before sliding them up his legs. He stopped her at his knees. "You don't have to – "

"You can barely sit," she said, leveling him with a mild glare before softening her gaze to one of understanding. "Just let me help." She assumed closing his eyes was his way of assenting and continued shoving them up into place around his hips, restoring his modesty. He was a little more helpful when she moved to put his pants on next. She sighed once they too were resting in their proper place, and decided to cut him a little slack. "I guess I was lucky, my first time. I was unconscious when my rescuers put clothes on me," she admitted.

That got his attention, she mused as his eyes flew open. "F-first?" he stuttered, unbelieving that she'd not only gone through something as horrific as he had, but that it happened _more than once_.

She waved off his concern, having come to terms with her experiences as part of the price for never really dying. "Few lifetimes ago, although I've seen plenty in this 'verse too. My line of work, rape is kind of expected. Hence making this crew believe I'm a guy. Although, not even that will save you every time, as you now know," she added sadly. It was still hard to believe that Jayne had been able to commit such a heinous act.

The reference seemed to kick him into high gear and he attempted to bolt from the bed before nearly collapsing in her arms as she tried to push him back into at least a sitting position. "I can't stay here – " he started in a panic.

She knew this panic, had felt it herself her first time as well when she had to see the face of her rapist every day, even if it wasn't in quite the same manner as Simon would have to look at Jayne every day. "Shush," she said firmly, putting a finger to his lips as he stilled. "He won't touch you again. I'll make sure of it. And if he even thinks about doing it again, I'll chop the whole gorram thing off."

The panic shifted in his eyes, and not for the first time was she amazed at how quickly he could think through things. "What if he's done this to others on the crew? My god, what if he raped River?"

She didn't even let him finish before she began shaking her head. River was not a possibility, anyway, as she would have somehow made it know if he'd tried anything, be it a prolonged lack of lucidity or his dead body in her bunk, so Frank didn't even bother addressing that fear. "I've kept my eye on him since I got on this boat. Worst I've caught him at was stealing chore slips. Tonight was a random act of desperation, probably brought on by being in the black for so long. Even I'm going nuts, and I haven't had sex in three or four lifetimes." She didn't like making excuses for the man, but she knew she was right. She'd see how antsy he'd been the last few days; she just hadn't thought that rape would be his method of scratching that itch of his.

Simon leaned forward, ignoring the pain now that it was obviously subsiding, and buried his face in his hands. "That was my first time," he said in quiet shame.

She reached forward and rubbed the back of his neck soothingly. "I wouldn't count that, Simon. Don't count it until you enjoy it. That's what got me through." Well, until she'd known she was pregnant, she thought, but he didn't have to worry about that.

"No girl will ever want me now," he said dejectedly, not accepting the comfort.

Frank nearly snorted, and patted his back reassuringly. "No girl will be concerned with where your backside has been. They're more concerned with the front. And hell, I'd sex you, if I thought it would help," she added with a smile.

For the first time that morning she heard him laugh and saw the corners of his mouth quirk with shared amusement. "Thanks, Frank," he said more than a little sarcastically.

"You're welcome, kiddo." Hoisting him up to his feet, she put his arm over her shoulder again, although he didn't lean nearly as heavily on her as he had on their way there. "Now let's get you to the infirmary so we can "check out" your head," she smirked.

Determination replaced his momentary confusion at being made to stand, and he turned resolutely towards the door. "Right."


	2. Pay Attention

**A/N**: Hello again dearies. Now that we're to chapter two, I thought I'd let you in on a secret. Unlike my other stories, this one changes POV from chapter to chapter. This one just so happens to be Jayne's, although I suspect my vocabulary is a might bigger than his. Sadly, you will have to make do with the current diction, because I've found switching to a more Jayne-like description of things and then switching back detracts from the flow of the story. So I admit my failings and move forward.

**But She's A Guy**

**Chapter two ~ Pay Attention**

Jayne remained in his bunk for the majority of the day, only venturing out for dinner when his hunger and curiosity got the best of him. He'd considered what Frank had said to him in the locker room – _go back to your bunk, jerk off, and keep telling yourself that_ – but he hadn't been able to do it. Well, the jerking off part, at least. His guess, Frank would not have been happy knowing that Jayne got off to the thought of him, and certainly wouldn't have made the suggestion if he knew what was going on in Jayne's head. Shame burned through him at the thought, as it always did, even as it started to turn him on.

It didn't make no sense, he told himself. He'd always been a ladies' man, never had a problem getting off inside a woman's body, and yet here he was, thinking hard on the man he worked with. The man that was just as tan and built as he was, even if his frame was smaller and his jaw was slightly more feminine. The man that would sweat and bleed next to him during a job and never failed to find the enemy that would have been the end of Jayne, had he not taken him down just in time. The man that shared his love of firearms and explosives with the same obsessive passion and dedication. The man that understood him, and didn't make him feel stupid for not having a formal education.

But as gorgeous and talented and rutting similar as the Frank was to him, it was driving him nuts, waking all hot and bothered after a sex dream every morning and then having to watch the star of it waltzing around the ship like he owned the place all gorram day. And that just wasn't right, since he'd only been crew for less than seven months and Jayne'd been there for five rutting years, not to mention he had a good twenty more on the kid, age-wise. And as of today, taking hold of himself wasn't going to cut it anymore, he was sure of it. Not after seeing how tender and forceful he could be with two people at the same time, and how unperturbed he had seemed about the implications of the situation. Jayne couldn't help thinking about how Frank would be in his bed, if he would see the tender man showing compassion or the forceful man demanding control and obedience. Jayne shook his head, clearing his thoughts now that he was in the galley with everyone else. Getting a hard on at the dinner table was not something he felt like explaining at the moment.

Frustration took a hold of him again, though, as he pulled out the chair across the table from Frank, who, like the doc sitting a few seats down, was acting like the scene in the locker room had never happened as they filled their plates and the meal began. And gorrammit, it _had_ happened. Hell he'd expected the captain and Zoe to come barreling down his ladder, guns trained on him, ready to throw him out the air lock most of the day. When Kaylee had called for dinner and he was still breathing, he assumed that no one else knew, but he at least figured that he'd be getting weird looks, or _something_, not this act of normalcy as the merc did his best to shovel food the way he always did. It was more unsettling this way, being left alone while the memories of that morning danced around in his head every time he glanced in either of their directions.

It wasn't really his fault how that morning had gone down anyway. It was the doc who had started it all. Sure, Jayne probably shouldn't have been handling himself in the shower, but in his bunk he ran a risk of Kaylee being on the other side of the wall, which wasn't all that thick, and the running water gave a better excuse to be naked and touching himself in the first place, so it wasn't as if he had many options.

And yeah, he probably should have answered the doc when he asked if anyone was in there, but he had been _so_ _close_, and it was such a stupid question since the water couldn't turn itself on, so he didn't bother.

And maybe he should have noticed when the curtain had been pulled back, but at that point he was right on the edge and not much was registering since his eyes were closed and focusing on the fantasy in his head. It wasn't until he'd said the name of his forbidden fantasy out loud – something he wouldn't have done without the sound of the shower to drown it out – that he heard the quiet gasp made by someone other than himself and whipped around to see a gawking Simon, his hand still clutching the plastic sheet that should have been obstructing his view of the merc and his, um, activities.

But all of that might have been forgiven, had the doc not let out a nervous laugh at the sight of Jayne's obviously aroused member. After that, Jayne snapped, and he really shouldn't have been held accountable for his actions because the smaller man obviously had a death wish, looking on him and then laughing like he did. Besides, Doc was just about the same size as his partner and if he closed his eyes it would almost feel like sexing the real thing, which he deserved after being so rudely interrupted.

"Hey Jayne," Frank said, startling the man out of his reverie, making him realize that the conversation around him had died somewhat as he lost himself in his rationalizations. He met his partner's gaze and heard more there than he did with the words being spoken. _Pay_ _attention_, the man across from him seemed to demand. Like he'd be able to _not_ pay him attention, he grumbled to himself. "I'm getting the Rem oil out if you want to clean a piece or two tonight. Lighting's better in the galley."

He opened his mouth to say he'd rather not, but closed it when the glint in Frank's eyes told him it had been a trap. If he said no, the others would take note. After all, Jayne always tended his girls after dinner, and he'd been known to do it in the other merc's company of late. And if the others took note, the subject of that morning might be brought up as a reason why he might decline the offer.

So he said the only thing he rightly could. "Sure."

No one else batted an eye, or gave the exchange a second thought. Each and every one of them missed the smirk that Frank sent his way before turning back to his plate. Jayne cursed every deity he could think of at how trapped he felt. He cursed them again when he also felt himself wishing the others would hurry up and leave so the two of them could be alone. Even with the threat of ending up dead for what he'd done, he still wanted to be near the man. Don't make no sense, he thought for the millionth time that day.

As it was, it didn't take long for the meal to come to an end, and though he tried to take his time picking which of his girls needed looking after, he found himself back in the galley before Book was done with the dishes. Frank was already there, one of his pistols broken down and given a cursory wipe by the time Jayne sat down across from him. The Rem oil was saturating the air, even though Frank had only sprayed it on the patch he was currently using to clean the slide. Normally, the smell was a comfort, a strong presence that spoke of discipline and precision in its poignant obtrusiveness. But tonight it smelled dangerous and threatening as though it was trying to suffocate him. Jayne hated to think how the Hoppe's was going to affect him when it came time to lubricate the moving parts of the guns after they were clean and ready for action. A death sentence, maybe?

Book finished, nodding his departure, and a heavy silence descended upon the two men as they worked on their separate projects. It was sheer torture, knowing the subject that needed to be spoken on and yet left waiting for it to be brought up. Jayne sure as hell wasn't going to start that conversation on his own. So the minutes ground on, Jayne hardly even aware of what his hands were doing as he listened to Frank's steady breathing, looking for a sign of the inevitable.

Sure enough, Frank didn't disappoint and sighed, putting aside his now loaded handgun as he met Jayne's tentative gaze. "I've been thinking on what ought to be done about earlier," he started bluntly, once again, reminding Jayne of himself. It really wasn't fair, how similar they were.

Jayne snorted, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. It was always easier to be hateful than truthful when the truth was something that could get you dead. "That so? Think you're the one to do it?" he asked, figuring he might as well put the smaller man on the defensive if he was going to be put on trial like this.

Before he was aware that the man had moved, Frank had launched himself over the table, knocked Jayne's chair to the floor, and pinned his arms behind his head. "Don't underestimate me, _bucko_," he spat. "I can end you faster than you can blink and make it look like you died peacefully in your sleep. Things like airlocks are for old expatriates with a moral center that I lost a long-ass time ago." He sat up, letting go of Jayne's hands, but remained seated squarely on his chest. Jayne couldn't help flushing at how a dumb twenty-six year old was able to school him like _he_ was the kid and Frank was the adult. After a significant silence, the younger man continued, "But it isn't your death I've been thinking on."

Jayne was highly uncomfortable at the current position, not sure whether he should be happy or upset that their hips weren't the points of contact between them. "Then what the hell are ya yammering on about?" he asked, hoping that it would be enough to dislodge the judgmental weight on him.

It didn't. The man merely shrugged. "You're still of use as part of this crew. Aside from what I witnessed earlier, I'd like to think you might care for a couple of people on this boat." Jayne paled. Did that mean Simon had told him why he'd attacked the doc in the first place? That it was Frank's name he'd been caught saying as he jerked off in the shower? No, he seemed oblivious to Jayne's terror, and kept talking like Jayne hadn't tensed for any specific reason. "So I'm not demanding that you leave at the next port, though I _do_ suggest you find a very good whore, nor am I requiring your life as payment for your crime. But you so much as lay a finger on anyone else the way you did Doc, I'll reconsider my decision. Dong ma?"

Jayne blinked. "That it?"

Frank sat there for a split second before his fist shot out and connected sharply with the bridge of Jayne's nose, making a sickening crack echo across the kitchen area. "Yeah," he said, shaking out his hand. "That's it."

Jayne tried to roll over and failed, clutching at his soon to be bleeding nose as he began cursing. "Tyen shaio duh – "

"I really doubt anyone Upstairs is going to be answering you right now," he said bitterly before cracking some of his knuckles and standing up.

Jayne propped himself up on an elbow, looking intently at the floor as heat spread across his face once more. "Y'know I could do it again," he said quietly before meeting the cold stare above him. "Could be Kaylee next time, or 'Nara. Hell, might even be yer sorry ass I go after next time I snap." Not that he'd want it to be anyone other than Frank, if he were truthful with himself.

"I hope it is," was Frank's deadpanned response.

Jayne cautiously got to his feet, giving the kid a distrusting look. "Ya sayin' ya want me ta rape ya?" Was there hope in this twisted situation?

Frank was in his face again, but thankfully hadn't struck him. Yet. "No one _wants_ to be raped, Jayne. _No one_. But unlike Inara, or gods forbid little Kaylee_, I_ can take it. The pain, the worthlessness, the shame, none of that will break me the way it would the rest of them. The way you almost broke Simon," he finished accusingly before turning, retrieving his discarded piece from the table as he moved towards the door leading down to the passenger dorm. He hesitated, and turned his head slightly so Jayne knew he was being addressed. "Just know this, Jayne; if you ever do come to rape me, come prepared. 'Cause you might not like what you get." He shrugged as he started walking. "Then again…"0


	3. Hurry Up

**A/N:** Finally, chapter three is up, I'm very happy to say. Not that Frank is. Or even Jayne for that matter. Oh well, enjoy anyway. And post reviews, since my traffic tracker isn't working and I never know if anyone is reading this crap.

**But She's A Guy**

**Chapter three ~ Hurry Up**

Frank had always prided herself with her ability to assess situations and understand her surroundings. She had, after all, had two different sets of military training, picked up on the subterfuges involved in being a courtier, and learned more than a few detection spells, which she could employ without even needing a wand if she felt like cheating. But somehow, with all of those skills and hundreds of years of experience, Jayne was still able to sneak up on her. One would think that she'd have a heightened sense of him, that the moment he entered a room she would be able to feel it, not when he decided to finally speak after sidling up to her from behind while she was speaking to Mal about their upcoming job.

"Frank," he bluntly announced, nearly making her jump, or more disastrously, thrust a knife in his direction, out of surprise. She prayed Mal didn't notice her slight flinch; a merc was hardly useful if she could be caught off guard that easily and it would be difficult to explain that it was merely Jayne who had this ability when no one else did. Pausing to grind her teeth for effect, she slowly turned her head towards him, glaring at him for interrupting her. She never fought outright with him while others were around, but she made it abundantly clear to all that the man pissed her off. "Been needin' ta have a word with ya," he continued, looking extremely serious and more than a little nervous.

She considered telling him to bugger off, or however they said it in this 'verse, since none of them were aware of her English background, but the way he was fidgeting belied an urgency his voice hadn't. Taking a cleansing breath, she turned back towards Mal, figuring that their discussion could wait a few minutes since they still had a couple of hours before they reached their destination. "Excuse me, Captain," she said with the slight nod she adopted when people no longer bowed their exit. Mal returned it with one of his own, hardly missing a beat as he headed up the stairs in the cargo bay leading to the flight deck, calling out for his first mate to meet him up there.

She glanced around, and finding them alone, turned her whole body to face her fellow merc this time, her stance reflecting her expectation for a fight, be it with words, or as it had been since the attempted rape a few weeks previous, with fists. She gave him three minutes to wrap up whatever it was that brought him here. It was torture, being this close to him and forcing herself to act as though she hated him, so she avoided it whenever she could. Raising an eyebrow, she waited for him to start. He too was glancing around, avoiding her eyes in general, which was also a new trick of his. "I ain't sly," he stated, being direct as ever.

Her other eyebrow shot up at this declaration, a wry smile twitching at the edges of her mouth. Of all the things he might have said, she didn't expect that one. It was the first time he'd referenced that morning in the locker room since their discussion in the galley. But why bring it up now, she thought. Surely her thinking he was sly wasn't something that would have been eating away at him, and it wasn't as if she'd made a pass at him in her obviously male body, so why try to convince her otherwise more than a month and a half later? "That's what we're here to discuss?" she asked sarcastically, making him look even more nervous. "Because I distinctly remember how that conversation went last time we had it."

Jayne grumbled at the insult, but glanced around and stepped closer anyway, seriousness overpowering his annoyance at her flippant answer. "Been three weeks since we gone planet-side for one thing'r 'nother. Three weeks'a nothin' but me in my bunk, if'n ya know what I mean," he added significantly.

She blinked, realizing she had completely miscalculated the reason for this discussion. "You're propositioning me," she said blandly, not bothering to ask. It was true, their last job had been on a space station, and it had been equipped for all their immediate needs – fuel, provisions, parts – everything except a whorehouse. Not one to think about such things, the captain had insisted that they just resupply there and then push back into the black. No wonder the merc was fidgeting.

He shrugged, trying in vain to make it seem like no big deal that his biological needs were involving her. "That'r I'll go fer whoever walks past me next. I need a body, don' matter much which one it ends up bein'."

She almost hit him. Hell, she almost shot him. How dare he come to her like this and not give her an option! His eyes practically screamed if-you-don't-sex-me-now-I'll-rape-your-friends. She closed her eyes, grinding her teeth for real now. He couldn't just try to seduce her, or offer to pay her, or even just push her up against a wall and rape her where she stood. No, he had to make sure it was up to her, whether she thought the crew was less important than her own body. Opening her eyes, she met his, and was glad to see he looked uneasy at the fierceness of her glare. Without a word, she flicked her head in a 'follow me' gesture and stalked off to the stairs leading up to the vacant shuttle's hatch. It was the only place in the ship that was truly soundproof when the door was shut, and she couldn't be sure that she wouldn't start screaming at him once they were fully alone.

As she turned to close and lock the hatch, she wasn't surprised to find him right on her heel, ducking past as it shut. She moved past him again, trying to find a place that wasn't in direct view of the porthole on the door. Her luck, someone would glance in and make this whole situation a thousand times more difficult. Facing him once more, she took the initiative and pulled her shirt over her head. It was something she still hadn't gotten used to, since to her, her body still felt female and going topless should have been decidedly not an option. Regardless of the maleness Jayne was now seeing, though, it had the effect she wanted. He strode forward and began pulling at the belt securing her pants around her hips. As long as it was over quickly, her body wouldn't be able to betray her feelings for him.

Once her pants hit the ground, Jayne pulled her to him, his lips devouring her neck. Heat engulfed her face as she felt herself responding to the hardness she felt against her thigh, knowing that to him, she would feel hard soon as well as she began to be turned on. That part of the glamour had surprised her, when she realized the magic communicated everything she felt as a woman the way a man would, so instead of getting wet, it would look and feel like she had an erection. And everything that was done to her male body was translated back to her as well, meaning if said erection was then fondled, to her it would feel as though she was being fingered. The only thing the glamour couldn't do was sire a child when she came, and even that looked deceptively real.

Which meant being turned on was not an option.

Frank kept her hands firmly at her side, trying to ignore the delicious feeling of his hands and mouth roaming her body, but even her resolve wasn't enough to keep her from reacting to him. She was about to give in and start touching him as well when she felt one of his hands starting to trail inwards from her hip, effectively snapping her out of it. She grabbed his wrist, getting his attention as he pulled back in confusion. "This is not consensual," she growled, squeezing his wrist so his joints popped.

He frowned, either not understanding, or not wanting to. "But – "

She didn't let him finish as she shoved him off of her roughly. "This is you having a need and me protecting the others from that need." She shook her head, looking away from him. "If there were another way around this, I'd take it, but I know you and I know there isn't one." She turned around, placing her hands on the bulkhead before her, effectively offering her backside to him. She didn't delude herself into thinking he'd want her to top him, so she didn't bother considering it an option. This was him raping her, after all. "So hurry up and get this over with," she said dangerously, making him understand that she would leave if he didn't get to it.

She thought she heard a growl rumble from his chest, but then the sounds of clothing being dragged over skin and crumpling to the floor obscured it. "Fine by me," he said, grabbing her short hair and ripping her head back before shoving two of his fingers in her mouth, nearly choking her with them. He didn't act surprised when she bit him, didn't even flinch like it had hurt. He dragged them against her tongue, forcing her to taste the sweat and grease on them before pulling them out and bending her over. She couldn't help bracing herself, knowing he was going to do his best to hurt her.

He didn't, though, shocking her with how carefully he probed her. It was uncomfortable, but not overly painful and certainly not as bad as it could have been. She clenched her jaw, knowing only too well that as a girl he wouldn't have to find a prostrate for it to feel good for her, and that he'd know the moment it did. Thankfully, he pulled out before lining himself up, and she found herself looking forward to the pain of being taken nearly raw. It was sure to keep her from showing how much she really wanted him inside her as he thrust into her for the first time.

It burned, like she knew it would, and he waited only half a second for her to adjust to his girth before pounding into her again. She arched her back, her body trying to scramble away from the pain, but he gripped her hips with an unyielding power and kept her from escaping it. She tried to stifle her grunts and hisses, since they seemed to be encouraging him further, but the pace was too brutal and she needed to breathe. It was all she could do to keep from screaming as she felt moisture pricking the corners of her eyes.

The pain began to subside as the minutes dragged on and his own arousal did its job to coat her insides. She almost even expected it as his hand snaked around and took a hold of her. She risked becoming unbalanced as she grabbed his wrist for the second time. "Don't touch me there," she hissed angrily, her face heating up again. "I don't want to get off on something as meaningless as this. Just focus on yourself, since it's what you're so good at."

His hand retreated back to her hip, gripping it with bruising strength now. "Y'know, I thought you was gonna be diff'rent," he spat, confusing her for a moment. "But yer just like every other hun dan thinks he's better than me."

She was furious with him. Who was he to get offended at something she said while raping her into the wall? "Would you let a man stick his dick up your ass for the sake of those around you?" she spat back, barely able to speak through the increasing amount of pleasure and hating herself for feeling it. "Because right now, that's the only difference I see between you and me."

"That right?" he asked, thrusting into her harder while slowing the pace.

Her head swam in her attempt to keep her body in check. It was true; she and Jayne were almost identical in their behavior, opinions, even moral histories. She'd killed, tortured, maimed, raided – everything short of raping a person. That was their only difference; he got off on it when she didn't and she was willing to go through it when he wasn't. "Yeah Jayne," she gasped, trying desperately to keep her arousal from her voice as she forced the answer from her throat. She failed, apparently, because his hand was back, stroking her and making her knees nearly buckle from the onslaught of sensation. "I said don't," she choked out, mortified.

He tightened his grip, running his thumb over the head before deciding to answer. "I'm the one doin' the rapin', I'll touch ya where I like," he said, as though that was a perfectly good reason to be giving her a hand job.

A tear slipped past her defenses and she willed herself to sound angry instead of humiliated. "Were you gonna beat off Simon too?" she asked bitterly, smirking to herself when his hand faltered at the reference. She'd die before letting him see how this was affecting her.

"Why?" he grunted. "Ya wanna be special?"

_I want you to give a damn about what you're doing_, she screamed to herself before checking her anger with sarcasm and finding strength in it. "Am I?" she drawled, smirking more when he didn't give an immediate answer.

Not a verbal one, at least. He tightened his hand around her, matching strokes with thrusts, his other hand holding her upright as her knees finally gave. She tried to bite back the moan as he brought her closer to the edge, but she knew she was past the point of controlling her reaction. Nothing short of him letting her go and walking away would stop her from coming where she stood. She felt the familiar pull, the spark of sensation deep within her in a place that didn't rightly exist because it went past the nerves and bone marrow to some kind of void that was sure to explode now that it was brought to the fore of her attention. She trembled, gasping as the heat pooling within her finally shot out, blinding her as she clenched every muscle in her body in an attempt to hold onto it as it began to fade.

Jayne's arms wrapped around her, holding her still as he gave his final thrusts, riding her orgasm into his own. He shuttered as he slowed, momentarily squeezing her to him before he seemed to come to his senses. Grasping her arms, he pulled out and stepped back, allowing her to fall to the ground in an ungraceful heap. "No," he said quietly. "Yer jus' a body."

She didn't flinch. She didn't even sound defeated when she whispered back, "That's what I thought." She just reached out and mechanically, almost stubbornly, began pulling her clothes on as he did the same. She got to the hatch ahead of him and looked back for the first time since she'd turned to face the wall. It was almost strange to see him standing there fully dressed after what they had just been doing. Meeting his eyes, she didn't understand the conflicted fire she saw there, but forced herself to turn and walk away, because in the end she was always a tool, always a mean, always an objective.

Always just a body.


	4. Like It

**A/N**: Just a reminder, for those of you who are way confused as to what's going on, I've posted this story as a favor to a friend of mine, not to make sense to the general public. If you want a smaller amount of confusion, read any one of my other stories, and compare that OC to this one, and you'll see a little bit about why she is the way she is.

**But She's A Guy**

**Chapter four ~ Like It**

Jayne found himself standing outside Frank's bunk, staring at the hatch. He knew the man was in there, had seen him drop down the ladder a few minutes ago with his own eyes. That wasn't the problem. He also knew he would get what he wanted if he opened the not-locked hatch and dropped down as well. That wasn't the problem either.

Still he hesitated, and hated himself for it. Jayne was the kind of man who just did what he wanted, unless what he wanted would get him dead, and even then it was still a maybe. And he knew he wanted Frank. Bad.

He kind of thought that might be the problem.

His hand reached for a rung of its own accord, but didn't apply quite the necessary pressure to pop open the latch. He sighed and checked the hallway for the fifteenth time. Seeing it was still empty of prying eyes, he reevaluated his intentions. He wanted Frank. This he knew. But did he want a repeat of last time? Or the time before that?

Jayne always tried to convince himself that he didn't need Frank, that it was a stupid, passing phase he'd get over as soon as they were planet side and he could get himself into the first whore he laid eyes on. But so far it hadn't, and it was becoming more and more frustrating. It was getting to the point that he needed the feel of Frank under him fresh in his mind just to get by when he took company with a working girl.

Which was the reason Jayne was standing with a hand on Frank's hatch the night before they were scheduled to land on Boros. He knew a couple of the girls near the port there, and if he left the ship at all, they'd know he was there and would get suspicious if he didn't stop by for at least a quick rut, which would be bad for business when he finally got over this stupid obsession of his. He also knew that he'd have to leave the ship, what with his reputation of sexing first thing when he got a break from killing to uphold, and everybody would get suspicious if he willingly chose to stay on board. So if he was going to be expected to sex up a girl in the morning, he'd need a fix to keep his performance believable to everyone involved.

He sighed, steeling his resolve to just go down there and get it over with. He waited for his body to respond to his command to move, but it seemed to understand that he didn't really mean it because it completely ignored the order. He growled, getting pissed at his cowardice. He was Jayne Rutting Cobb for Buddha's sake; sexing the person he wanted to sex shouldn't even be an issue, even if it _was_ a man.

Jayne flushed at that private admission. It wasn't that he was opposed to a fellow being sly; different strokes for different folks he always said. He just didn't get why all of a sudden he found himself wanting something so out of his normal scope. Sure, he'd been curious in his younger days and learned the basics of it before deciding it wasn't his thing, but that was just a kid being stupid. An old merc like him didn't just wake up and swing the other way for no reason.

It was obviously something specific only to Frank. He didn't feel an attraction to any of the other men on the ship, and couldn't remember the last time he'd admired the male body of a stranger, not that the types of people he normally saw were all that attractive to begin with. But with Frank, his reaction was immediate and demanding, and it was all he could do not to jump him the second he walked into a room lately.

Not that the attraction was mutual. Every time he went to Frank – which, in his defense, was only about once a month – the man would scoff and tell him how weak and pathetic he was. It didn't even matter that Jayne was able to get his partner to finish each time they sexed, the hun dan still claimed he was disgusted by Jayne's appetites. And it was getting harder to ignore the hate behind those words.

He was used to separating emotion from rutting, especially when he paid for it. Sure, he tried to be good to his girls, but it was just a transaction. Even if they liked it, he knew they didn't like _him_, and it didn't bother him because he didn't like them either. But when he found himself balls deep in his partner, he wanted to like him, and wanted to be liked back. Which he obviously wasn't, since all he ever heard was how much the man wanted it over with and Jayne out of his sight.

Okay, so maybe that was the problem.

Jayne debated with himself for another minute. Was the rut worth the insults? Could he keep ignoring, not only the obvious distain from his partner, but his own reaction to it? It wasn't like a merc needed things like _feelings_ to get the job done and keep food on the table. Jayne shook his head. Nope, he was just satisfying a need. Taking care of his body like he would Vera. Maintenance. He clanked open the hatch and dropped down before he could second guess himself again.

There wasn't much to Frank's bunk, so the few trinkets and belongings didn't grab Jayne's immediate attention. Unsurprisingly, it was his partner's body that honed his interest, sprawled as it was on the surface of his cot, a book momentarily obscuring the face attached to it. Jayne stood awkwardly at the foot of the ladder for a moment, ogling the display of skin the man's boxer shorts weren't covering before reaching up to shut and lock the hatch above him. He was in way over his head.

Frank sighed and placed the well-worn paperback off to the side of the cot, finally meeting Jayne's eyes. The guarded look glazed his eyes like it normally did when Jayne came to him like this, but the rest of Frank's face spoke clearly enough that he wasn't pleased to be revisiting this situation. Jayne tensed his shoulders, straightening his back in a silent rebuttal to the judgmental look he was getting. Frank would not be getting an apology tonight.

Frank chuckled, pushing himself to a standing position, grabbing the book and moving to replace it on the shelf it belonged on. It was odd, Jayne thought, that a man like Frank would not only have one book, but around a dozen of them. It wasn't like he thought Frank was stupid, he just didn't think reading was a priority for him in their line of work. Frank crouched down to pick up the shirt he'd been wearing the other day, tossing it onto the laundry pile in the corner, as was ritual now. For some reason, he felt the need to tidy up before letting Jayne push him down onto the bed. The place could have been a dung heap and Jayne wouldn't have cared.

Jayne moved behind him, knowing that Frank would hear the sound of his pants being unzipped without needing to turn around or look up. Frank chuckled again, but this time the sound was hollow. "Couldn't just wait one gorram day?" he asked. "We'll be in port tomorrow night." As though that was something Jayne didn't know. He briefly wondered if Frank had picked up on this pattern of his yet, but the thought faded as his partner twisted around to look at him and he was struck by the sight of the smaller man on his knees in front of him. Hundreds of fantasies flashed through his mind and he was instantly hard. What he wouldn't give to have Frank blow him where he stood.

Frank seemed to catch on to Jayne's thought process, his eyes darting down to the erection now a few inches from his mouth and back up to the lust Jayne knew had to be in his own eyes. Frank raised an eyebrow at the silent request as though Jayne had officially lost his gorram mind. Which Jayne wasn't all that eager to argue. "You _want_ your John Thomas bit off?" he spat, bringing Jayne's sex-clouded sense of judgment back from Stupidland just a moment too late. Frank already had a knife out and pressed to the base of his fly. "Maybe I'll castrate you while I'm at it," Frank growled.

Lust set aside for the moment, Jayne had the presence of mind to be pissed. Without needing to think about it, he grabbed Frank's wrist, twisting it behind the man's back, which in turn forced him to his feet and the knife from his hand. Frank grunted, but didn't concede until Jayne had him bent over the bed, and his boxers ripped off. "Pullin' a knife on me," he muttered between them, doing his best to strip off his clothes with his free hand.

Frank had the nerve to laugh outright, and relaxed under him. Jayne nearly sighed in relief now that the initial power struggle was over. He'd earned control, and now the only struggle he'd get would be verbal. "Told you, you might not like what you get from me," Frank said, almost as if on cue. "Then again, you do keep coming back," he added almost coquettishly.

Flirting was new. Granted, it was nearly hidden under the normal hateful tone, but for half a second, Jayne could pretend that Frank had meant it the way he'd heard it. "Thinkin' yer the one who likes it," he grunted, shoving himself into his partner in one push. Both parties moaned, although Frank's was more out of pain than pleasure. Jayne let go of Frank's arm, allowing him to shift into a more comfortable position before he started moving. As rough as he was, hurting the man wasn't on Jayne's list of things to do.

Frank grunted again when Jayne's hand snaked around and grasped his member. The feeling of hot flesh under his hand, mixed with the tight heat that was threatening to tip his mind over the edge into madness, was more than he could stand and propelled him into movement. "Oh no, my sarcasm must have given me away," Frank ground out between thrusts and strokes.

The delusion didn't last long, and Jayne felt his stomach churn as the words sunk in. No, the rutting wasn't worth the insults. "Shut up and let me rape you in peace," he mumbled, speeding up so that neither of them had the breath to speak.


	5. Speak Up

**A/N**: I'm on a roll people. Two chapters in less than 24 hours. I impress even myself sometimes.

**But She's A Guy**

**Chapter five ~ Speak Up**

Simon did his best to remain professional as he lowered the waistband of Frank's pants so he could assess the damage, vaguely wondering what the merc would have done if Simon didn't know about her agreement with Jayne. If you could even call it that, he grumbled to himself. He nearly gagged when her backside was exposed, not from the blood, but the act that had caused her to bleed. "He tore you again," he said, not bothering to mask his disgust. What she saw in that monster, he would never understand.

Frank chuckled tiredly. "Figured as much. Could barely make it down here to clean up." He marveled at her lack of concern, especially since this was now the third time she'd needed him to patch her up like this.

Guilt washed through him again, his own self hatred welling up at the thought of his involvement in this twisted love triangle. Dense as he was, he understood what none of them were saying. "You don't have to – " he started, but she cut him off like he knew she would.

"Yeah, Doc, I do," she said, twisting her torso to level him with a weak glare. He raised his hands in defeat, knowing that even half dead she wouldn't listen to him once she made up her mind not to. She rolled over again, resting her chin on her folded arms, not unlike a petulant child, bent on being right. "Besides, it's not as bad as being raped the other way. That can make you feel all kinds of worthless. Never really put much value on the backside, either."

Speaking of her backside, he moved away from the medical chair to the counter, prepping a few remedies he'd learned to keep on hand for nights like these. His back now to her, he found his courage again, and decided to continue pressing the matter. "Couldn't you just threaten him?" he asked, still unable to picture anyone, least of all Jayne, being able to intimidate or overpower her. "Or maybe hurt him before he hurts you?" he suggested, practically enthusiastic about the prospect. If only he could get Jayne in his chair on a night like this. Oh he'd fix the man, but he wouldn't have to be gentle about it.

There was a moment of quiet and he turned back towards his friend, who was frowning at his proffered idea. "That'd be like hurting myself too, Doc," she said sadly, for once sounding like a woman instead of a man. Simon swallowed thickly, fighting the wave of attraction that swept through him. It wasn't often she showed a feminine side, but she was absolutely beautiful when she did, even when wearing the body of a man. The glamour was easier to ignore in those moments, and Simon could see her as she really was.

The moment passed, though, and Simon found himself looking at the merc, the girl buried once again. He shook his head, remembering himself. "I still can't believe you fell for that ape," he mumbled, mostly to himself, partly hoping she'd come to her senses and deny it. He moved closer, thankfully out of her line of sight, opening a bottle and soaking a swab with its contents by pressing it to the top and tipping it over.

Frank shrugged. "Heart's a tricky thing, it turns out." He gently dabbed at her entrance, attempting to clean and disinfect it. "Ayee!" she screamed, making him jump slightly and pull his hand back. "Watch it, would ya?" she exclaimed, looking over her shoulder at him, attempting to glare daggers at him through the pain. It was almost cute.

Simon grinned sheepishly, slightly remorseful about his amusement. "Sorry," he laughed.

"You know I hate hydrogen peroxide," she grumbled, reminding him of a child again as she rested her chin back on her arms. "Whole gorram 'verse lies about that stuff not stinging like it does."

Simon returned the swab to its previous occupation, ignoring her soft hiss as he continued to scrub the blood and semen off her. A quiet shuffle drew his attention and he glanced up to the small window that looked out to the stairs, sure he heard something. Squinting, he thought he could see the toe of a boot in the darkness. Jayne had come to check on her? As far as he knew, only the merc used the catwalk to secretively keep an eye on whoever was being treated in the infirmary. His eyes darted to his patient and back to the window, making a split-second decision within himself. He was sick of seeing Frank like this, and even more sick of having to stand by and do nothing. So he would do what he always told himself he wouldn't do.

He was going to meddle.

"What I don't understand," he said, raising his voice slightly to make up for the glass of the window, "is how you can let him do this to you every time and still… care about him." He shied from the word love, figuring he didn't owe Jayne that big a kindness. All he needed to do was set it up for them to talk openly. Surely then they would stop this asinine raping business and move on to the real thing.

"You've heard of unconditional love, right?" Frank asked, a bitter edge to her voice. "Loving someone no matter how many times they hurt you, screw up, kill people, indulge vices." He didn't need the explanation, but he let her talk, knowing Jayne probably would. Frank laughed, as though she was caught in a sick joke, which Simon was prone to agree with. "I'd wager I love him more than his own mother does, and I can say that because I've seen every dark facet of his personality, witnessed every bad habit, and yet I still haven't loved him any less in all of it." Simon shook his head, hearing the truth in her proclamation, but not understanding it. She had compared it once to his love for River, but that was different. River had no control over what she'd become; Jayne made himself into what he was. "Not that he can know that, but that's how it is," she finished, bringing him back to the conversation.

Simon nearly growled with frustration. Were both of them really that blind? "Why not tell him?" he practically demanded. "Do you really think it will change things if he knows?" Jayne would still be as big a hun dan then as he was now, but maybe the merc needed to hear her fears before approaching her and ending their stupidity.

"What, that I love him, or that I'm a girl?" she countered, unknowingly making Simon blanch. That was far more blunt than he thought her response would be. He prayed to Buddha he wasn't screwing things up too badly. He tried to make his face neutral as she turned to face him again. "Or the fact that I'm not just a mercenary, I'm an assassin, a Commander, an ex-slave, oh yeah, and a witch on top of everything else." Simon couldn't help flinching each time she ticked off one of her titles. It looked like Jayne was getting the whole picture after all. Frank sighed, looking more than a little defeated. "The man has trust issues enough as it is without me adding to them," she finished dejectedly.

This was a disaster. Simon had to change the subject if he was going to salvage this. "But – "

"Look, Simon; I'm not a stranger to the whole unrequited love thing," she went on, oblivious to his plight or that she was confessing her soul to Jayne. "No more than I'm a stranger to meaningless and/or systematic rape. If this is how he wants to be with me, then I'm fine with it, even if he makes it difficult to sit for a couple of days a month." She flipped onto her stomach again. "Now finish patching me up and let me get some sleep."

Simon recognized when she thought she was losing and his heart went out to her. Removing the lid to a jar of antibiotic cream, he silently went back to work, ignoring his own feelings as the job necessitated having only the thin layer of his glove between his hand and her intimate areas. He heard the shuffle at the window again, and knew he needed to act quickly to salvage the situation before Jayne got away. "What if he decided he loves you too?" he asked suddenly, and he felt her jerk back from her quasi-sleeping state.

Her back tensed and for a second he thought he'd hurt her again. "He won't," she croaked, her voice belying the tears he couldn't see. "I'm making sure of it."

Simon stepped back and removed his gloves as he tidied the counter. What was he supposed to say to that? Finally, her actions became clear to him. It would be awful, living a lie, loving someone you thought you couldn't have, and then run the risk of them loving you for the person they thought you were, not who you really are. If Jayne loved her as a man, he might not love her once he knew the whole story. Of course Frank would be afraid of that. Shame spread through him as he realized his blunder. "I'll leave the cream here, in case you need any more tonight," he said quietly, pulling her pants up and covering her with a light blanket. He had to get out of there before Jayne disappeared. If he couldn't do damage control, then maybe he could at least convince Jayne to leave her alone after this, let her suffer in peace.

Frank grabbed his wrist as he turned to go, offering him a small smile. "Thanks Doc," she sighed sleepily. "You're the best." Simon nodded and allowed her hand to drop before quickly striding from the room.

He had work to do.


	6. Get It

A/N: I'm not sure if I like how this chapter turned out. It was better with just the dialogue, funny even. Oh well, I blame Jayne. Enjoy.

But She's A Guy

Chapter six ~ Get It

He needed a drink. It was the only thought Jayne was allowing through his head as he stumbled up the stairs to the mess. He needed a drink – or maybe five – of something very strong before his brain either started working again, or committed hari-kari. He approached the wall of storage cabinets with a moment of trepidation, briefly allowing his mind to perform the function of an internal debate – reach for the wine Kaylee had made and was placed in the top cabinet for communal use by the crew, or remove the false panel on the wall and dip into the captain's private whiskey bottle. The captain's very strong, almost-as-old-as-he-was whiskey bottle.

Decision made, he shut off his brain and made for the panel. Surely after a couple swigs, the 'verse would finally make a little sense. Or if it didn't, he could at least block it out and pretend that it did until he passed out. Glancing around at the oddly disconcerting lack of shot glasses, Jayne unscrewed the top with one twist of his wrist and brought the bottle to his lips. Just a few swallows, and he'd –

A throat cleared, stopping his hand from tipping the blessed liquid back, and more importantly, from burning his own way-too-dry one. Upon seeing the owner of the throat, the color drained from his face and the thought of getting wasted as quickly as possible was sounding more and more appealing. "I thought that was you I heard sneaking around out there," Simon drawled, leaning against the doorframe. "Let's have a chat, shall we?"

Striding forward, Simon took the bottle from Jayne's hand and returned it to its not-so-hidden spot in the wall. Jayne gave an indignant noise and swiped for the drink, only to find himself eye to eye with what he supposed was the doc's form of an intimidating glare, which had to mean the man was serious about the chatting and not drinking idea. Without allowing a whole lot of thought, Jayne dropped his hand, but retained enough of himself to square his shoulders as he followed Simon to the kitchen table.

They sat in silence for a time, Simon just staring at him in a way that gave him an uncomfortableness. And it did a mighty fine job of getting his mind working on the thing it didn't want to be working on. Jayne let his hostile front fade into the confusion he was truly feeling. "Frank…is a girl?" he tried, hoping that saying it out loud would help it sink in. It didn't.

"So you heard all that?" Simon asked, although his tone implied that Jayne was once again being an idiot. As if in agreement, his brain fogged over even more.

"'S not possible," he whispered, nearly mindlessly, resting his elbows on the table and running his hands through his short hair. "I seen him nekkid, I – "

"So have I," Simon interrupted in that superior way of his when he was on a mission to prove someone wrong. He paused, letting the comment sink in and Jayne flushed as a stab of jealousy cut through his veins. Unbidden images of Frank 'comforting' the doc flooded his vision and he nearly felt sick. Not about the two possibly having sex, but that he didn't like the idea of anyone other than himself being with Frank, which meant his attachment to his partner was getting dangerously close to being about more than just the sex. Looking up, he could tell that Simon was pleased with his reaction, but then the smugness faded back into sincerity. "But that doesn't make it any less the case."

Jayne thought on that. He hadn't just seen the man, he'd touched the man, he'd been _in_ the man – it wasn't hard to do the math, even for him. "'S not possible," he said, a little more resolutely.

Simon had the balls to look exasperated. "Have you ever seen Frank while she's sleeping, or unconscious?" he asked, as though he was speaking to a child. Jayne tried not to flinch at the pronoun.

He opened his mouth to say something smart-assed, but before the comment left his lips, his mind had informed him that he had exactly zero memories of Frank in a not-awake state. "No," he said, confusion once again coloring his voice. So he hadn't ever seen the man asleep. What did that have to do with anything?

Simon nodded, as though he'd just proved some hypothesis or something. "Come with me," he said calmly, and stood.

Sure that it was a bad idea, Jayne couldn't help muttering to himself as he made his way back down to the infirmary. What if Frank was still awake? What was Simon planning? His fears abated slightly as the med chair came into view and the occupant was, well, not snoring, but breathing loudly and obviously fast asleep. He wasn't sure what else he was expecting to see, but the long, wavy brown hair attached to the person's head wasn't computing. Who the hell was this?

Simon, ignoring Jayne for the moment, approached the chair in an almost reverent manner, a soft smile playing on his lips. Jayne's blood ran cold at the look, recognizing it for what it was as the doc threaded some loose strands behind the girl's ear. As terrifying as the idea was that the doc was in love with his partner, though, it was confusing as hell. Hadn't the whole conversation he'd overheard been about how Frank was in love with Jayne? What was this then?

The moment passed, and Simon seemed to remember himself, putting on his professional face as he beckoned the merc to stand next to him. Jayne hesitated, his mind working on overdrive and possibly boiling itself in the process. Still, his feet brought him forward, and his eyes searched the body before him for some sign that this was all just a bad dream. She murmured something in her sleep and his heart sped up as the sound pulled his eyes to the source. "Same face," he choked stupidly. Yeah, there was the hair, and the feminine curves, but the face was decidedly a familiar one. Not to mention the clothes.

Simon, once again looking perplexed at the obviousness of his statement, looked between the merc and the girl on the chair. "Of course," he quietly agreed, as though Jayne had just said air was necessary to live. "Keep your voice down, though; I'd like her to sleep through the night. Without the rest, she might not recover in time for her duties tomorrow." He leveled the merc with another pussy-glare, as though he just remembered why she was there in the first place. "You did quite a number on her," he accused, making the heat return to Jayne's face. Sighing, the doctor seemed to get an idea and reached for a vial and the syringe-gun, quickly doping her to ensure she stayed unconscious, and Jayne let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Simon looked at him again, back to professional-mode. "Help me flip her over," he requested.

Knowing that she wouldn't wake up now made Jayne feel a lot less nervous, and this time he only hesitated for a second before reaching under her and turning her face up. Now that she was on her back, it was easier to see the similarities between her and Frank. Same height, only slightly slimmer build, same jaw line. The hair was long, but decidedly the same color and texture. His eyes lowered to her chest, part of him noting that a bra was nowhere in the picture. "Girl parts," he breathed, instantly even more attracted to the body in front of him. Frank was a gorgeous man, but he made an even prettier girl. Assuming this was Frank, he reminded himself.

"You can sit with her, if you like, and watch her conjure the glamour when she wakes up."

Jayne shot the doc his 'Huh?' look. "How…?" he trailed off, his arm gesturing her body vaguely. Glamour? Conjure? Was this what they were talking about, her being a witch? He looked down at her again, a puzzled look on his face. Sure he liked stories about witches and monsters as a kid, but he never once thought there was such a thing in reality.

"Her story's pretty fantastic," Simon said, clearly impressed with her credentials. "At least the parts she's told me," he shrugged. "The witch part might have been too much, until I saw what she was capable of."

"Capable of?" he asked, still only capable of two-worded sentences. Maybe she was the real thing, if she'd been able to convince even the tight-assed doctor. Simon wasn't one to fall for that superstitious mumbo-jumbo without proof. But even if she was, this couldn't really be Frank, right? Witch or not, he was pretty sure a girl couldn't change into a guy.

_I can end you faster than you can blink and make it look like you died peacefully in your sleep. _

Jayne blinked. Was Frank talking about magic when he said that? "Let's just say that I'm glad to be on her good side and leave it at that," Simon said, rather cryptically. "Of course, come morning, she might not be all that happy with me for telling you all this. She'd rather you stay ignorant and just keep your relationship to the occasional rape," he added with a snort of disgust.

The merc stared at the girl's face for a long time, his mind slowly connecting her with his mental image of Frank, allowing the light to slowly flicker on. "Been rapin' a girl," he whispered, leaning back against the counter for the support his knees were no longer giving him. "A gorram girl." He shook his head. "Said he could take it. Said he'd _prefer_ it," he croaked. "Frank's…a girl," he tried again, his mind finally accepting it. He looked a Simon as though seeing him for the first time. "Does Mal know?" he asked.

Simon almost laughed. "If I wasn't her doctor, not even I would know," he said confidently.

"No one else does neither?" Jayne tried to clarify. It seemed odd that of all the confidants Frank could have chosen on the ship, he – she, he corrected himself – would have chosen Simon. Maybe she figured Simon was the smallest threat.

"River does. It's hard to hide things from her, so we never tried." Jayne scoffed. Crazy-girl didn't count. Could have told her the sky was purple and she'd probably believe it on a bad day.

He turned his gaze back to the chair, this time with a cautious sense of distrust. "Girl," he said, almost accusingly. He kind of got why she had to hide it. But it still kind of pissed him off. Weren't partners supposed to let each other know things like that? I fart in my sleep. I take trophies from my kills. I'm really a girl. Those were just common courtesies.

"I don't know how or why she did it, Jayne, but she fell in love with you," Simon declared, sobering Jayne's angry thoughts. "If you hurt her now because of this, our deal after Ariel will be revisited," he threatened significantly, "and I guarantee you won't like the results."

Jayne ignored him; death by lethal injection would be by far the least of his worries if tried to hurt Frank. Well, more than he already had. A plan started to formulate in his head, and he nodded to himself. "Don't tell her," he said, meeting the doc's eyes. "Don't tell her I know."

Simon straightened. "And for my silence?" he demanded sternly.

Jayne frowned. "I got somethin' ya want?"

The trauma surgeon chuckled darkly. "Not hardly. But I have a request."

"'S that?"

Simon stepped forward until they were practically nose to nose. "Treat her right," he all but snapped, "Or get off."


	7. Hide It

A/N: Man, this story is kicking my butt. I liked it a lot more when it was just dialogue and made sense in my head. Anyway, here's chapter seven, finally. Forgive the shortness and enjoy.

But She's A Guy

Chapter seven ~ Hide it

It wasn't strictly proper to be doing what he was doing, but for once, Simon ignored his mother's voice in the back of his head while he crouched down behind a crate in the cargo bay. Besides, it wasn't _really_ eavesdropping if he was concerned about his friend's welfare, right? He was simply making sure that whatever Jayne had been thinking while he paced the mess hall wasn't overly violent and that Frank would be able to handle herself.

Peeking around the edge of the crate, he saw Jayne making his way over to her as she bent down to stow an extra gun under what was to be her seat on the mule. She started slightly as she raised up and realized his close proximity. Sighing loudly, she turned away from him and began checking that the cargo had been strapped down properly. Lacking anything else useful to do, Jayne moved to the other side of the mule and secured the respective ends. Simon allowed himself a small smile; if Jayne was going to start something, he wouldn't be volunteering to help. Frank seemed to agree with this and relaxed her shoulders slightly. "Thought you'd be going planet-side the second we set down," she said. Had Simon not known her, he'd have said she was being conversational. Having been on the ship with her all these months, though, he heard the accusation an acquaintance would have missed. "Did you forget something?" she asked when he came back around and just stare at her.

"I wanna sex ya proper." Simon flinched. That was certainly straight to the point. And a little _too_ to the point, if Frank's stony face was anything to go by. Simon found himself silently waving Jayne on, knowing that he'd have to expound quickly if he was going to salvage the situation, but also forgetting that the man couldn't see him or his gesticulations. Jayne shifted from foot to foot for a moment, before hastily adding to his statement. "Y'know, consensual and the like."

Simon gaped at the merc's choice of words before rubbing his hand down his face. Evidently Jayne didn't know the difference between expounding and explaining. The man was shooting holes in the boat instead of reaching for the paddles. Frank covered her eyes with her hand, as though she didn't want to witness the oaf of a man in front of her. "They shut down the whore house, didn't they?" she asked, clearly annoyed.

Bristling slightly, Jayne straightened his back, raising his nose in an almost core-bred way. "Dunno," he said, quirking his eyebrow as though the thought hadn't occurred to him. "I ain't been." Simon was mildly impressed with the merc's new-found snobbery. The ape-man-gone-wrong-thing might actually pull this off.

Frank, however was not impressed and seemed even more suspicious of the man. Shaking her head, she dismissed the subject with a wave of her hand and turned away from him, triple checking the straps before realizing she was more than obviously stalling. "Maybe the Doc should take a look at you," she said on an exhale when she looked up and realized he still hadn't left. Simon's stomach dropped. It wouldn't do to have them looking for him when he was hiding behind a crate listening to them. It appeared that Frank was going to do just that though as she turned towards the stairwell near the air lock. Jayne didn't move, nor did he look pleased with her new plan to find Simon. "I'm sure he's got a cat scan or something to check for brain damage," she said over her shoulder as she passed him, nearly as an afterthought.

That sprung Jayne into motion, thank Buddha. In one quick step he grabbed her arm and twisted her around to face him again, anger now marring his sharp features. "Gorrammit, I'm serious, Frank," he said with a slight shake to emphasize his point.

"And what makes you think that I'd even want you to 'sex me proper'?" Frank responded in kind, never one to back down to intimidation of any kind, and certainly not from Jayne. Simon was still amazed at how well she pulled off the alpha-male dominance role as he watched her yank her arm out of her partner's grasp before jabbing him in the chest with her middle and index fingers. "Just because we've come to some demented kind of an arrangement – " she started to hiss at him, but the other merc, apparently, wasn't about to back down either. This time grabbing both arms, the larger man pulled her to him and slammed his lips against hers.

Simon tried to bury the flare of jealousy ripping through his chest, but he couldn't tear his eyes from the two before him. This was what he'd been hoping for, wasn't it? For Frank to get what she wanted? He swallowed hard, not sure if he could really go through with this. To lose her to Jayne was an insult, and went against everything he wanted for himself, but… snob though he was, he'd never been very good at being selfish. He hesitated, not sure which of the directions he was being torn by to follow.

Frank pulled away, looking a little stunned, but mostly hurt. "Tyen shaio duh," she cursed, almost too quietly for Simon to catch. "You _have_ gone sly."

Jayne kept her close, but it was obvious even to Simon that she wasn't moving to push away from him. "Call it that if'n ya like, but it don't change a thing," he said with a surprising amount of conviction before kissing her again. Simon saw the way she tensed this time and stood to come to her rescue, but stopped before he took his first step. Her hands had moved up to clutch at his shirt and she tensed again, making Simon understand her reaction now. It went against her own rules to allow herself to give in to her desire for the man. Simon quietly crouched down again, his conflictions dropping away. Jayne was definitely what she wanted, and for once in his life, Simon felt as though he hadn't screwed up with a girl he liked.

Frank seemed to remember herself and pulled away again, using her hands in his shirt to both keep him at a distance, but also to keep him from backing down now. "Ta de ma, are you saying what I think you're saying?" she asked, a bit of residual anger still in her voice.

"I'm sayin' I'll make it good fer ya, if'n ya want me to," Jayne countered huskily as he released one of her arms so he could run the tips of his fingers from her shoulder to her elbow and back.

Frank went rigid at the touch, but Simon smirked along with Jayne when the lust became evident in her eyes. "Guess it's about time to see what you're really capable of," she said stonily, still clinging to her mask even though it was obviously slipping away.

Simon almost expected Jayne to start jumping around and whooping like the idiot he was, but he just smiled and brought his fingers up to caress the side of her neck. "My bunk, or yer's?" he asked with barely veiled excitement.

"Mine," Frank replied quickly, letting go of his shirt and turning back towards the mule, as though there was still something that needed to be done. "I'll meet you there," she said matter-of-factly. Recognizing a dismissal when he saw one, Jayne nodded to her back with a grin and made for the stairs, bounding up them three at a time.

Once the merc was out of hearing range, Frank looked up at the empty doorway that led to the mess hall and chuckled to herself. Shaking her head, she gave the mule one last glance over and then headed after the man, albeit a bit more slowly and without skipping any of the steps.

Simon sighed, wondering once again if meddling had been the best thing for everyone involved, but knowing it was by far too late to take it back. Without really thinking about what his feet were doing, he stood and made his way up towards the stairs.


	8. Feel It

A/N: This has been a long time coming, hasn't it? Well enough of suspense, here's the moment you've all been waiting for. I hope. If not, here it is anyway.

But She's A Guy

Chapter Eight ~ Feel It

The hatch was descended and shut, both mercs standing there awkwardly staring at each other. "Now what?" Frank asked, spreading what he now knew were _her_ arms in an invitation for Jayne's suggestion. He understood this was just for show, that she was too stubborn to let go of how she acted around him even though he was showing genuine interest. Oh well, he'd fix that soon enough.

"'Pose we should get nekkid," he said, pulling his shirt over his head. She shrugged and started pulling up her shirt as well, but at the first glimpse of skin, Jayne knew he had to have his hands on her. "I'll do it," he said, stepping forward and taking the edge of the shirt from her hands. Stepping even closer, he took in the smell of her hair, wishing it was long like the night before, but reveling in the feel of his fingers fanning over her abs and ribs, the cotton tickling his own chest as he pulled it slowly over her head. She was already breathing quickly and he could feel her pulse racing under his finger tips as her skin warmed. _This_ was what he'd wanted for so long.

She reached forward, attacking his belt, but he grabbed her hands and slowed her movements, drawing out the act of her undressing him, letting her know without words that this wasn't going to be a quick rut. She seemed to get the idea and didn't fight his nonverbal instructions as she dragged the fabric down his hips. Lust swam through his head at finally having her hands on him. He kicked off his boots and shorts once they were around his ankles, leaving nothing but skin for her to caress. His heart did this weird swelling thing as he realized his question was finally being answered – this was the tender, compassionate Frank loving on him now.

Jayne knelt down, pulling off her boots for her and then undid her belt and pants, relishing in the feel of her male form while he let her keep up the façade. He stood, rubbing against her as his hands latched onto the small of her back and the back of her neck before claiming her mouth again. Her hands were in his hair, keeping his face close to hers as she tried to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away despite her moan of disappointment. "This last bit yer gonna hav'ta git yerself," he whispered against her lips. "I dunno how ta do it, or I would."

He dipped his head, kissing his way down her neck, but not before he caught the frown that descended on her features. "What?" she breathed, clutching at him. "There's nothing left."

"Take it off," he commanded, biting gently along her collar bone. "I wanna see ya. Can't sex ya proper if'n I can't see ya." As much as she was turning him on as she was, he wanted her truly naked.

"I don't know what you're t-talking about," she stuttered as he started slowly grinding against her, giving in to his need for more friction.

He worked his way up the other side of her neck, licking the shell of her ear before whispering against it. "I'm talkin' bout the thing on ya that's still coverin' ya up." He pulled away just enough to meet her confused eyes. "Don't much care what'cha are, Frank, s'long as I can see ya."

"Huh?" she asked dumbly and he chuckled at the fog lust had put her in. He'd give her a few more minutes to figure it out then.

He resumed kissing and nipping at her neck, his fingers trying to memorize her body while they had the chance. It was nearly unreal, thinking that just last night she was flinching at his touch, and now she was moaning and encouraging him. He liked this Frank a lot more. Which reminded him, "'S Frank even yer real name?" he asked against her skin. "'Cause I'ma say it when I'm in ya proper, an' I want it ta be the right one."

Her body went rigid at the question, but he ignored it and continued with his worship of her skin. "Got a lot of names," she said, anger now lacing through the lust in her voice. "Frank works fine."

He allowed himself a moment of disappointment; he'd hoped to get at least that small nugget of truth from her, but he could save that for another night. "So, ya gonna take it off or not?" he pressed.

"I'm not wearing anything, Jayne," she exclaimed, shoving him away and glaring at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He did his best to look sincere and forceful at the same time. "Ya ain't gotta pretend no more. Take it off."

"I don't – "

"Quit lyin' ta me," he said angrily, cutting her off. "Ya been lyin' since ya got here an' I'm sick of it," he complained. "Makin' me all 'ttracted to ya, so'n I think I'm sly an' take it out on Doc an' yer sorry ass." He stood back, holding his arms out to his sides so she could get a good look at him. "Ya seen ev'rythin' I am, an' I ain't _never_ got ta see ya." He dropped his arms and advanced again. "So show me already, dammit," he demanded.

Her jaw tensed, eyes flashing with defiance. "Close your eyes," she said quietly. He hesitated, but knew if he didn't go along she might not give him another chance at this, so he did as he was told. "This is what you meant, isn't it?" she asked, and his eyes opened again, his mouth hanging open for a moment. Curves had replaced the flat planes of her chest and her wavy brown hair fell softly over her shoulders. His gaze traveled down to her sex and he swallowed thickly, trying in vain to suppress the sweep of desire rolling down his spine. "This is what you wanted – for me to expose myself?" she asked icily, and he noticed that her voice was just a tad less masculine, and despite himself, he smiled, liking that at least that wasn't much of a lie. She glared at him more intensely. 'Well you got it. Now tell me how you knew."

Jayne sighed. "Came by las' night."

"One rape wasn't enough?" she asked haughtily.

Jayne glared back at her, figuring one lie deserved another. "I _was_ gonna 'pologise, but Doc must'a put ya under 'cause ya didn't wake up when I came in. Seen ya an', well, seen what I did ta, y'know, a _girl_, an' I kinda freaked out." He sobered for a moment. "Ya can be mad, I kinda figured ya would be, but it don't change what I said bout me bein' 'ttracted to ya. Girl parts, man parts, I still want'cha."

Frank's hands balled into firsts and her jaw clenched so hard he thought she might crack it. "Mad…" she started with a shuddering breath, "is not the word. I am _livid_ with you." She jumped forward and shoved him hard enough to make him stumble before she went off on him again. "_All_ this time, all this rutting gorram time I've been stuck in that body, letting you take advantage of me and suffering because I _thought_ I was saving the others from you and all you had to do was say those _seven little words_ to end this stupid pi gu charade. Eight months, _eight_ _months_ you held onto your pride and made me feel like a piece of le suh not even worth calling trim because you thought I was a man and couldn't stand the idea of willingly wanting to sex me. I should hex you into the next _century_ for everything you've put me through!"

Jayne blinked, trying to take in everything she'd said. "Ya talk faster when yer a girl."

"Oh you haven't seen anything yet, you – "

"Hey Frank," came Simon's voice from the top of the hatch they hadn't heard open. They both gawked at him for a moment, Jayne silently cursing himself for not locking the stupid thing. "You forgot to put up your silencing wards," the doc said, as though explaining that she'd left the stove on. Frank colored, but he couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment. They were both stark naked after all. Simon turned to him and nodded. "Hello Jayne."

"Doc."

Apparently the color was from anger. "Simon Tam – " she started, but he just smiled back at her.

"I'm meeting Kaylee for lunch, so don't maim him until I get back, okay?" and with that he was gone and the hatch was closed again.

"I should have known his back stabbing pi gu was in on this," she said, fists shaking.

"I think he likes ya," Jayne said with a considering turn of his mouth and a shrug. Frank leveled him with look that radiated 'you're stupid.' "Well he knew you was gonna be right pissed about me findin' out an' all, but he did it anyway," Jayne defended.

Frank looked confused. "And how does that prove he likes me?"

"'Cause he's givin' ya a chance ta git what'cha want." Jayne shuffled from foot to foot looking at the ground. "'Less he was wrong an' I ain't what'cha want."

Frank visibly relaxed. "So this doesn't bother you? All the things that I am?" she asked, clearly defeated.

Jayne grinned. "Well ya are gonna haf'ta show me how ta kill a man 'fore he blinks, but other'n that I think I can handle it. 'Sides, any woman can put up with me is one I gotta hang onto."

"I'll still have to be a man most of the time," she warned.

Jayne shrugged. "I'll sex ya either way."

Frank snorted at his fix-all solution. "Assuming I let you," she teased.

Jayne carefully placed his hands on her hips, smoothing his fingers up her waist and lightly across her breasts, causing her to shiver and take a deep breath. They rose even higher, sliding over her shoulders and neck to cup each side of her chin, bringing her mouth back to his. At her groan he started to guide her body over to the edge of her bunk. "Think I might be able to convince ya if'n ya let me try," he said as he lowered her to the bed. Just to have her beneath him, not struggling or insulting him…dare he say it was a dream come true? Well, not out loud at least.

Jayne continued to kiss Frank as he nudged his knees between her legs, infusing every touch of his body against hers with his need and want of her. His ears burned with the sounds she made for him, realizing that these were the noises whores would try to imitate but never mastered. It wasn't just sensation, it was _feeling_. And Buddha if he didn't get inside her soon, he was going to lose his mind.

"Maybe." It took him longer than it should have to recall what in the 'verse she would be whispering 'maybe' about, but when he did he chuckled to himself. He _would_ go and pick this stubborn of a girl to fall for.

"Maybe?" he asked against her ear, teasing her entrance with his tip a few times before unhurriedly pushing into her, enveloping himself in her warm center. Their mutual sigh of content laced a fire through his blood and it took everything in him to stay mindful of her and not give in to his own need. He did promise to make this good for her and he wasn't about to ruin it with a selfish quickie, even if she did feel rutting amazing. He'd start naming each and every one of his girls if that was what it would take.

"M-maybe," she stuttered as he throbbed inside her channel, making her momentarily constrict around him at the feeling. He took a deep breath before shallowly thrusting into her, delighting in the feel of her clutching at his shoulders and wrapping her legs around him. He didn't need a spoken ascent at this point.

"We're a might bit past maybe darlin'," he breathed, genuine humor and happiness coloring his voice as he closed his eyes and held her tighter.


	9. Say It

A/N: Thought that was it, huh? Not hardly. Muahahaha! Oh to be an evil mastermind again! Oh and please don't panic at the end…

But She's A Guy

Chapter Nine ~ Say It

A grenade exploded, lighting yet another shack on fire and making the ground shake violently enough to knock the moon off its orbit, effectively pausing the impromptu gun fight long enough for Jayne and Frank to dive behind a cover-sized piece of wreckage without getting their brains blown out. Jayne didn't hesitate, immediately popping back up and blasting away at whoever the local scumbags were. Frank waited her turn, watching him intently as she leaned against the twisted metal barricade to see when he was out and needed her to take over. His lips were pursed and eyes squinted in concentration, but his body was uncannily still and strong as his muscles worked to cushion the recoil of his shots.

The double click came as the mag finally emptied and Frank took her cue. She moved flawlessly with him, twisting up on her knees at the same time he bent down into the relative safety of their cover. Picking out quickly which places would likely be hiding enemies and what materials she was likely capable of shooting through, she pulled the trigger, listening for each three round burst and any accompanying cries of death coming through the darkness from her intended targets. Two sets of pings meant the wreckage to her left wasn't being penetrated, but it looked like a few men to the right were stupid enough to crouch behind some form of drywall, judging by the clouds of dust and replying screams. Jayne chuckled darkly as he reloaded, recognizing the sounds for the destruction they were. The trigger jumped back as she squeezed it, meaning she'd already emptied a clip. Ducking down again, she cursed under her breath, reaching for what little ammo she had left. "This is lovely," she said, bracing herself as bullets rained down on the thin layer of metal between them and a body bag.

"'Don't worry, guys, this one'll go smooth,'" Jayne said, tossing his head as he mimicked the captain's words from earlier that day. "My pi gu," he added in a low mutter, more to himself than to Frank. She had to agree though; this job was supposed to be simple – get in, grab the money, get out – but Mal hadn't accounted for the moon's largest gang also going after the exact same loot. If it weren't for the fact that she didn't particularly enjoy being shot at, she would have found the whole thing immensely comical, what with Mal and the gang leader raising their guns and telling everyone to get down at the same time. That moment of confusion that passed between them before the bullets started flying was absolutely priceless. "Best split up," Jayne said, peeking out for a split second, only to duck back down with his head barely intact. "Give 'em more targets," he reasoned.

Frank nodded and ignored the knot in her stomach at the suggestion. Logically, splitting up was better, they couldn't get pinned as easily. The more fronts a group had to fight on, the more divided its firing power, the more the four of them could pick the hun dans off and shrink their numbers to a better ratio than ten to one. She had no idea where the captain and Zoe got off to, but she didn't like the idea of losing track of Jayne too. They were practically inseparable now that they'd gone from raping to sexing, and it felt wrong to have him more than a room or an enemy away. She stifled the feeling though, not wanting to sound like a girl by insisting they stick together. "You go left, I'll go right," she forced herself to say.

Firearms reloaded, they both leaned on opposite ends of their soon to be abandoned barricade. Frank searched out a path that would allow her to shoot as she ran without leaving her too open. She'd aim towards the drywall, sure it would cause enough chaos to keep attention off her movement. Turning back to Jayne, she locked eyes with him. That fire was burning in those deep blues again, and she wished she had time to riddle out what they were trying to communicate, but the clanging of lead on steal had stopped, and their chance to run was about to pass them up. Jayne gave her one last nod and they both sprang to life, firing their weapons to cover their escape. Frank let her feet and arms take over her general thought process, her body acting on instinct as she dove for what used to be some sort of shop.

Once she was down on the ground, she took in a bit more of her surroundings. The road had been blown to hell with the first few grenades, but one street light still flickered on and off, lighting most of the area where there seemed to be morons with machine guns before plunging it into darkness again. Looking back, she could see now that the thing she'd just used for cover was what was left of the engine block and frame of an air-car, rare for this part of the verse. Most likely that had been the planned getaway vehicle for the gang leader and crew, which explained the prolonged swapping of bullets. Unfortunately, she could also see the remnants of the mule just beyond it, so unless Mal had called for backup, it was going to be a long walk home – assuming they walked away at all.

The new angle also allowed her to see behind the drywall and sure enough, there were six men behind it, four of which were dead or dying on the ground, leaving only two more for her to pick off. Shifting her submachine gun back to her shoulder, she took aim and caught one of them just under the collar bone before the other started firing back at her and she had to roll behind the shack again. Knowing the hun dan would be expecting her to roll back out in the same place, she took a deep breath and ran for another pile of rubble half a dozen paces back, ignoring the whizzing in the air around her until she'd ducked down again.

The air seemed to still as she looked to her left and saw Jayne crouched behind a mail receptacle, paper fluttering down around him in the aftermath of a shotgun blast. She sighed, momentarily glad to see he was still breathing, but then a glint in the space between her side of the street and his caught her attention and her heart jumped in recognition. "Grenade!" she shouted, knowing that he needed something more substantial than a mail box between him and the blast, but even before the word fully left her mouth, an explosion further down the street rocked the ground again and drowned out her voice. Panic swept over her like a bucket of ice water, catapulting her into motion.

Her mind was vaguely aware of the fact that running towards the last known position of a live grenade was probably unwise, but she ignored it, along with everything else, as she propelled herself forward. "Jayne!" she screamed as she neared, ready to tackle him into safety. He looked up, just in time to meet her eyes –

And then pain lanced through her chest and brought her to a halt before him. Confusion wound across her features, not understanding why her feet had stopped taking commands. Didn't she have something important she was doing? And why was Jayne looking at her like there wasn't a Santa Claus? She put a hand to her chest and felt the warmth washing over it, the smell of her blood now filling her lungs as she sucked in a breath at the sensation. Jayne began to rise up, arms reaching for her, but then her back felt like it was on fire and she was flying towards him, slamming them both into the concrete.

Her vision blackened before coming back, but her ears were still ringing from the blast and pain seemed to consume her before her body started to shut down and numb itself, hiding from the sensory onslaught. There was a groan beneath her, the world spinning as she registered Jayne holding her as he sat up. "Gorrammit, Frank!" he exclaimed with a cracked voice. She tried to follow the sound of it back from wherever the pain was trying to take her. "Wha'd you go an' do a thing like that fer?"

The sensation wasn't new. She understood that the cold spreading through her meant it was over. She'd bleed out in his arms and then she'd wake up, ready to start a new life in a new 'verse. At least this time she wasn't choking on her own blood. That was never pleasant. A tear thought about escaping her, but it came out only as a shuttering gasp. "Been so many places," she croaked, suddenly parched, but uncaring. "First one I'll be sad to leave." It was hard to admit, but it was true. She hadn't felt so connected to a place or a person in a horribly long time.

"Ya ain't leavin' – "Jayne started with a strangled cry, but she wasn't done yet. There was one more thing, before the blackness claimed her again.

"I love you, Jayne," she said with all the conviction of a person staring at death. "Hoped I wouldn't have to say it," she conceded, sad that it had come to this. She'd wanted to wait, hide her feelings until he said the words first, but there wasn't enough time for all that, and he had the right to know. "But there it is," she finished, glad that the weight on her chest was no longer a metaphorical one.

"Frank!" she heard him yell, but his voice sounded like he was under water. This was it, then. She closed her eyes, knowing that for once, her heart would be staying behind with her body.


	10. Know It

A/N: Final installment people. This is how it is, so I hope you enjoy, but if not, hey – it's not like I'm the one that invested all that time reading ten chapters just to get an ending I don't like. Sucks for you. Or not. Whatever.

But She's A Guy

Chapter Ten ~ Know It

Air was filling her lungs, and then leaving. Blood was flowing, staying in the veins where it belonged. Frank didn't have to open her eyes to know she was alive again. She took a deeper breath, calming her heart as it beat with both excitement and depression. Starting over was always exhilarating and frightening, but this time it was more than a little melancholy as well. It wasn't every lifetime a person could love like that, and it was beyond unfair that it had been snatched from her so quickly. Sighing to herself, she voiced aloud, "Here we go again."

"Well if you'd learn to _duck_ instead of _jump in front_ of bullets," a voice to her left came, startling her with its proximity and familiarity. Her eyes flew open, searching out the owner of the voice, not wanting to believe what it would mean. "We wouldn't have to be 'going again.'"

Frank's mouth fell open as her mind took in the pale skin and dark hair of the man, facing the counter with his back to her. "Doc?" she questioned, her tone almost begging him to disprove her.

Simon turned around, a syringe in hand, holding it up to the light instead of looking directly at her. "No, I'm the other medic that works on this ship," he said dryly as he brought his hand down and inserted the needle into the plastic tube he had taped to her arm. Finally meeting her eye, he frowned at her look of incredulousness. "Maybe I should lower your morphine drip," he added, grabbing at the bag of clear liquid suspended above what she now realized was the med chair in the infirmary.

Frank's mind rebelled against the fact that she was still on Serenity. This was not a part of the plan. "Why the hell am I not dead?" she demanded, glancing down at her body for the first time. It was decidedly still female – there wasn't a point in the glamour if she was starting a new life with a potentially less violent profession – but mostly covered in gauze and red splotches. The rest of the infirmary was in complete disarray, the normally neat, clean counters and trays covered with blood and medical supplies.

"Partially because I spent five hours in surgery removing the bullets and shrapnel from your body," Simon snapped testily before regaining his calm and continuing, "but mostly because Jayne carried you back before you could bleed out." Frank closed her eyes at his name, her tired heart trying to leap at the thought of seeing him again. "You're lucky he's also a match and could replace what you did lose."

It took Frank a minute to work out what Simon meant by that, distracted as her mind was as he said it, but then her eyes flew open and looked up at one of her saviors, who tapped another bag hanging next to the clear one, and very distinctively red in color. "That's Jayne's blood?" she breathed, confused. She couldn't remember if men and women could mix blood with the technology she was used to, but seeing as she wasn't quite dead yet, she supposed that at least with this technology they could. She shook her head. "But wasn't he hurt too?" It wasn't like Jayne to walk away from anything at least a little bloodied.

"I had him on an IV for a short time as well," Simon conceded with a nod, "but you were by far the worse off. And it isn't as if he doesn't require a transfusion after most jobs. I've kept a half a dozen pints on store for just such occasions."

Frank hardly heard Simon's explanation, her thoughts turned back to her last memory of her partner, and shame washed over her. Her eyes quickly pricked with moisture and her face flushed. "Dammit," she whispered.

Simon frowned again. "You're welcome?"

She'd been so sure she would never see him again, that this moment would never come. A tear fell freely. "Wo de ma, I'm so rutting stupid," she whined.

"I would have thought the gaping hole in your chest could have told you that," Simon sighed, returning to his sarcastic-doctor mode. A few more tears cut their way through the grime on her face and she sniffled once, giving into the need to mourn her stupidity. This just served to confuse the doctor more. "Why are you crying, we just saved your life."

Frank shook her head; he might have saved it, but she'd already ruined it. "I used the L word," she sobbed quietly, bringing her free arm up to cover her eyes. "I thought he should know before I left him that he was worth sticking around for, that I'd be sad to go." She sniffed again before groaning at the idea of seeing him again. "Cao, I'm such a moron."

It was obvious that Simon didn't like being confused, simply by the tone he took. "You told Jayne that you love him?" he asked for clarification.

She laughed humorlessly. "It was either that, or 'so long, sucker.'" Another sob ripped through her throat and she tried to roll away from Simon, failing miserably since half of her was connected to machines and the rest was numb and sluggish. She settled for turning her head. "Figured the former was more poetic," she said, mentally kicking herself again.

"Well that _was_ stupid," Simon agreed, causing her to drop her arm and look at him. "I'd have thought you told him by now. That isn't something you should wait to say until your deathbed."

Her laughter was a bit more frantic now. "Yeah, like I need to give him another reason to shoot me." Her eyes seemed bent on draining her of all fluids, it seemed. "Or stop sexing me," she added, her mind reeling with the potential consequences of her deathbed admission. "Or leave the ship," she choked out, her voice rising an octave in panic and heartbreak.

"Aw hell girl, I ain't gonna shoot ya." A weight settled on both of her shoulders and a loud sigh that didn't come from the doctor shifted the air above her. Eyes now wide in horror, Frank looked up and behind her to see Jayne standing at the head of her chair, where he'd obviously been through the entire conversation. He met her stare with an oddly understanding one, but there was a hint of frustration simmering just below the surface. "Or leave or nothin' neither," he added, squeezing her shoulders to emphasize. "I known fer a while now how ya felt. Thought ya knew I felt the same by now," he added, looking away when she caught the hurt in his voice. "Wouldn'a carried ya all the way back here if I didn't want ya ta stick around," he muttered, and this time Frank smiled as the tears kept flowing. "Sure as hell wouldn'a let ya use my blood," he said, turning back to his normal self now that he'd gotten through his confession. "Man like me needs all he can get."

Frank hiccupped and laughed a little. "You dope," she said, pulling him down and nuzzling his neck before kissing him soundly on the mouth.

A gasp echoed from the doorway, along with a 'huh?', startling her for a moment, and she reluctantly allowed her partner to pull away. Looking forward, she saw the rest of the crew had filtered in through the door and color drained from her face. She still hadn't put on her glamour, and now there was nowhere to hide. Wash looked comically confused, Kaylee was squealing about how romantic it was, Book and Inara were both blinking rapidly, but Frank only had eyes for Zoe and Mal. The first mate looked guarded and her eyes would flicker between her on the med chair and the captain at her side, but she remained silent. Mal's jaw was set tightly for the moment, as it usually did when he wasn't informed of something big until after it had happened, but then he strode forward and all the other noise in the room died down.

"Haf'ta say, it was a mighty big shock when Jayne walked up the ramp carrying a girl who'd been shot to hell, claiming her to be one of my mercs," he started, hooking his thumbs in his holster belt. "Bigger shock when I come to find three others of my crew knew and didn't think to inform the captain about it." Frank stayed quiet, allowing him to glare at the Tam siblings and the man still gripping her shoulders protectively. The captain turned back to her. "You're fired," he said, holding up his hand when Jayne and Simon opened their mouths to object. "This is my ship, and you should have told me instead of waiting for me to find out once you were practically dead."

Sighing, he shrugged. "But since you're also apparently bunking with my other merc, who will likely kill me in my sleep if I kick you off the ship, I guess I don't have any choice but to re-hire you." Frank let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding when Kaylee started squealing again. "Don't keep me in the dark about anything ever again," Mal finished, pointing his finger at her very seriously before leaning away and rounding up the rest of the onlookers.

Simon smiled at his friend before following the others out, leaving Frank alone except for Jayne, who had moved over to the side of her chair. She reached up and stroked his cheek, enjoying the companionable silence now that the excitement was over. Maybe almost dying wasn't so bad after all. She pulled him close for another kiss, but he resisted and took her hand in one of his. Jayne reached forward with his other hand and ran his fingers over the I.V. taped to the crease of her elbow and up her arm. "That's my life runnin' through yer veins darlin'," he said with a smile that made her heart race. "Means I ain't lettin' go."

A/N: Alright guys, an update of sorts. On the off chance that you enjoyed Frank, she's got a new adventure in a story called CHILD, which is co-written with my dear friend The Almighty Ro, under the penname MindcrackDoctorate. It takes place about six months after this story, so if you wanted this one to continue, guess what? Now it does! Yay.


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